


A Modest Proposal

by SilviaKundera



Category: Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead - Stoppard
Genre: Litfic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-13
Updated: 2003-08-13
Packaged: 2017-10-12 19:24:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilviaKundera/pseuds/SilviaKundera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A missing scene o' slash from when they're at the castle. I'm not saying would fit absolutely perfectly straight into the text, but I certainly did my best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Modest Proposal

_TWO ELIZABETHANS passing the time in a place without any visible character.  
They are well dressed---hats, cloaks, sticks and all.  
Each of them has a large leather money bag.  
GUILDENSTERN'S bag is nearly empty.  
ROSENCRANTZ'S bag is nearly full.  
The reason being: they are betting on the toss of a coin, in the following manner. GUILDENSTERN (hereafter "GUIL") takes a coin out of his bag, spins it, letting it fall. ROSENCRANTZ (hereafter "ROS") studies it, announces it as "heads" (as it happens) and puts it into his own bag. Then they repeat the process. They have apparently been doing this for some time._   
\-- how the scene is set in the opening of Stoppard's "Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead"

 

 

GUIL: "Rosencrantz!... (receives a slight nod) ... "Guildenstern! (receives another)... (aggrieved, aggressive) You **don't** , do you?"

ROS: (innocently) "Do what?"

GUIL: "Discriminate."

ROS: "Should I?"

GUIL: "It would be helpful."

ROS: (musing) "Well, I don't believe I'm that sort of person."

(a pause)

GUIL: (with an accusatory finger) "You discriminated against the actors."

ROS: "What?"

GUIL: "Upon first knowing them."

ROS: "And I suppose you did not?"

GUIL: "...They know nothing but _death_. Very narrow focus."

ROS: "It was not the sex?"

GUIL: "Well."

(a short pause)

GUIL: "Do you remember having sex?"

ROS: "The actual act, or the fact that it has occurred?"

GUIL: "We exist, that should be proof enough."

ROS: "Proof of what?"

GUIL: "That it has occurred."

ROS: "That _what_ has occurred?"

GUIL: " _Sex_!" (echoes across the corridor, causing birds to flee from their perches)

ROS: "Oh. Yes. But I don't remember it."

GUIL: (begins to pace) "No, you wouldn't."

ROS: "Why not?"

GUIL: "Because it happened _before you were born_." (voice booms once again)

ROS: "Right."

GUIL: (ceases his pacing abruptly) "But do you remember it actually happening to you?"

ROS: "I thought we'd established—"

GUIL: (patient, but edged) " _Sex_ , not birth."

ROS: (long pause, with idle chin scratching) "No."

GUIL: "No?"

ROS: "No."

GUIL: "Don't you think that's... odd?"

ROS: "Do you?"

GUIL: "Think that's odd?"

ROS: "Remember having sex?"

GUIL: "... No." (He has surprised himself)

(There is a mutual silence, during which they both lean back against the wall)

GUIL: (reflectively) "I suppose it's very nice."

ROS: "Oh, yes."

GUIL: "I don't suppose..."

ROS: "But you do."

GUIL: "I do what?"

ROS: (matter-of-factly) "You're supposing."

GUIL: (a bit aggrieved) "And what if I am?"

ROS: "Then... you are."

(another long pause)

GUIL: "All right, I'm supposing."

ROS: "Yes."

GUIL: "Suppose... _we_ had sex."

(a still silence. GUIL fidgets impatiently.)

GUIL: (irritably) " _Well_?"

ROS: "I'm supposing."

GUIL: "What do you suppose?"

ROS: "That depends."

GUIL: "It depends?"

ROS: "Certainly. All things depend on one another. It is the way of the universe."

GUIL: (tensed). "So. (a pointed pause) On what. (calming breath) does this. (breaths out) _depend_?"

ROS: "Would it be... (pause) are you saying..."

(ROS pokes at certain pages that have flittered down with the wind as GUIL waits, seated and knee bouncing)

ROS: (a sudden spurt of revelation) ... Would it be with _each other_?"

GUIL: (thrusts his arms outwards) "YES!"

(As the shout recedes, GUIL returns his arms to his sides with a stiff jerk. They are left staring at each other shiftily)

ROS: "That would—"

GUIL: "It could become—"

(ROS, in a burst of movement, presses his mouth quickly against GUIL's. A flurry of hands shoving against shoulders and gasping breaths commences. The men part to peer speculatively at each other, GUIL looking up and around.)

GUIL: "Was that?"

ROS: "Are you?"

GUIL: (understanding) "Right, then." (Lifts the curtain behind his right shoulder)

(ROS and GUIL dash behind it)

 

 **[exit]**


End file.
